This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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