All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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