why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
