his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
