I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
