just tell him i said nine months
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
