Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
