It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
