I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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