She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
