you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
