Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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