I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
