she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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