So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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