Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
