I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
