Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This house was built for laser tag.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
