You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
