I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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