So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
