I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
