It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
