I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
