I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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