I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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