I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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