just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
