its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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