he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
