i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
