Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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