why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
