return my video game
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
