What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
