hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
