you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
