omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
