I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
