I'm really into asian looking animals
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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