i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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