Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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