I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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