oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
