There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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