that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
