trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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