i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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