someone threw a dead crab at me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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