come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
