youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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