My friends, they love my intelligence
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
