More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
