She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
