He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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