So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
